Beneath sanity, beyond oblivion…

You thought you saw me all

But there are shadows still in the dark

Tracing back to a void

That’s never really empty

And never torn apart

But still a part of me

That is hard to reveal,

Harder to hide

And so we land up

On the same pages 

Our broken hearts

Laid bare in ink

Of this parched world

We are stories we live

And words we share

But also those that were never

Spoken or reflected 

In eyes that saw dreams 

We are each a part

Of an infinite maze

Trapping ourselves 

In our own depth 

We aren’t a mystery 

Or lost destinations

We are simply 

A different path

Often deserted enough 

To be labelled danger

And in our soul

Lies our body

And in our heart

A poem called life

And a life called dream…

Dreaming and dancing…

Today, I can proudly proclaim myself as a trained dancer. The memorable journey from a passion to graduation comes to a finale today, as I received my graduation certificate in Dance. This is for all the years I gave to dance, and for the all the years dance has now given me….

Love comes in various forms, various shapes, various words, various sights. It’s not one explainable, distinguishable facet of life. 

And yet every time it’s just the same, under different names, casting the same shadows.

Sometimes it keeps us up because of the words that create it’s world. Sometimes, because of the moves that create it’s dance. Tonight was one such night. 

The rythm of the night and the beats of its melancholy still reverberate in my heart. And this time, it’s harder than any song could stir. It’s never about the songs actually. It’s about the souls singing it. 

We danced and fell and laughed and shrieked. The whole world seemed to groove with us in those miniscule moments of joy. The adreline rush is greater than a mountain climb or a horror film. It’s the syncing of the sorrows of the mind with the pleasure of the heart, forgiveness in a moment of trance and love in a moment lost in the ticking of the clock. 

Indeed, there is no measure of time on my tips. I keep forgetting the days and dates. Tonight. 

And probably all nights that I remember this one. 

I know today what it means to move like jagger. Today, I cherished those cheap thrills. Dancing till there was no more strength to smile. The strength to dance was lost long time ago. 

To lose ourselves into the oblivion we probably need to know what it really is. It isn’t away from reality. It isn’t the antonym of sanity. It’s a part of it, hidden in the depths of our own mind, places that we confuse with the heart. It’s the little things that give satisfaction and the pleasure in knowing that you never have the time to spare for those.

Because in those moments, time stops for us, let’s us enjoy its flavours and makes us realise that sometimes getting lost is the best way to stammering words and gaining them all over again. Of losing time and finding it in flow with us again.

Of feeling a smile without carving one. 

Of giving a love that can’t be gained and getting a love that can’t be lost.

Lyrics that can’t be sung and words that can’t be written. 

Only a dance to live. 

Only a life to dance.
10 years of dancing, yes that’s what it does to you. 

Lyrics of time 

​Sing me the song that u wrote 

The other day
In the aloofness that surrounds
Amidst the chaos of life

Sing me the lyrics
I thought would be mine
When I lost you
And found myself instead

Sing me the love
You have so often spoken of
And only spoken of
As I silently yearn for it 

Sing me your heart
That you have always hidden
Unearthed in the shallow
depths of time

Sing me, but the sorrows
That have thus kept us apart
And yet tied within 
the infinty of heart…

Wandering nights- Somewhere deep within…

Wandering nights after a long gap. Enjoy…

Memories- that’s all left

In a corner that was once spared

For all the words meant to complete 

Your love, my prayer

Promises- that bridged distance

We pledged not to mention

Still reside in the letters

Crumpled with apprehension

Stars- our sole messengers 

Lost in the darkness of time

Dorment by sudden silence 

Whispering our whines

Nights- the infinity of reunion 

Now rest in the rythm of cries

Wondering what remains 

Underneath a rubble of lies

Yet- the word that remains 

Rewinds the life once prized 

Those faded songs shared, 

Those moments paralysed

For in this pain we find a love

Unknown, unexplainable

Amidst a past gone by 

Amidst a future unshared…

We are the sufferers…

Maybe all we hv got
In these moments to spare
Is a life to die
for those we care…

Maybe all that’s left
Of me to share
Is a bunch of roses
From the orphan ‘s heir

Maybe all that I have
Doesn’t look so fair
To drive me off the edge
That I once had peered

And those cliffs I fell
Trying to push boulders down
Drifted across these valleys
That times doesn’t surround

For now all that’s mine
Is what’s left outside
Inside is as torn
As when I came out from hide

To heal wounds I thought only
Others possessed in seclusion
Without understanding that
No story ends on conclusions

To infinity…and beyond!

Even when so much can be said in just two lines of poetry, I wish to iterate more today. In words that may mean nothing to you, but something really big to me. I wish you would remember today, as the day we met. The day I gazed into your dreamy eyes and their dreams for the very first time. And within them, found my own. 

It wasn’t the day you clutched my hand, or the day you expressed your infinite love for me. It wasn’t the day you kissed me or the day you asked me for a dance. But it was day we smiled together. The day we shared our first words. The day I stole a glance to have a closer look at you and that sheepish grin of yours. The day I saw myself knowing you even more. The day I wanted to ask a few more questions. And probably the day when I forgot about this meeting just as you left, only to return as someone new. 

You lifted me higher than I had ever dreamt. Made me believe in more than I ever could.

And yes, made me realise how the strings of a guitar rarely made a sound in the air, but trembles in a heart. How the lyrics of a lonely song could connect so well with my stammering speech. Or how the sparkle of your eyes, matched the frequency of your voice. 

As I silently gazed into the depth of what that music could stir inside me, maybe you had already realised what you could. An ambition, an answer, and a clarity of who I want to step out as. 

Yes, I love you too. Not because you loved me someday, not because you gave me a dream to live for, nor for the tranquility your presence and then these preserved memories bring to me. But simply because I have no reason now to say this. Some days, I have sat alone and pondered why I should love somebody? Why should I give my something to a somebody? Or maybe, a nobody? But now I know why, because there are simply no reasons to love. Even when you are far, and indifferent to whatever this means to you, I feel you around every moment trying to help me out. Love never dies. Either it never was, or it was never meant. Ours is none of those. I had always heard of eternity. Now I feel one. I had mocked the promises of forever. Now, I have made one. And whatever life may steer us through, I know someday, it would have to bow down to the infinity of love. Unconditional, unspoken, unbinding love. I hope these stars tell you often of how I miss you amidst their lustre. I hope they help wade off your loneliness as well, if you haven’t still found the crowd. I know though, that you are never meant for the crowd. And not even for only me too. I don’t carry selfish motives as well. And I do realise that being the complicated messenger it is, time might put you in sync with another soul too. And I accept that. I had my chance, and I know I was too foolish to foresee only the harm my wounds would cause you, missing out the healing we could impart to each other in the process.

So today, as we complete a year more of our infinity, as we love and laugh to the world, hiding what we really miss, a togetherness in this loneliness we create, I wish just more hope to myself until we meet again. Until, me and you are us. Until death do us apart and love lights up our stars. I hope you read my friend, and know that I’m here, and will always be. I have to trust the stars but who knows when the sun might rise. 

Because this is the day we met. My soul, and the earth. 

Earth day…what does it really mean?

Earth day

We observe 22nd April as Earth day, all around the world. But does this mere proclamation mean anything for thousands like those I still witness ‘playing’ with nature today? Indifferent to what each leaf they pluck contributes to the void this ignorance can impart tomorrow?

Isn’t it the same as the psychotic killings of innocent souls by the destructive forces of the world? Engulfed by the monsters of death for no legitimate reasons whatsoever? Aren’t we the destructors of our own destiny? Think about it…maybe we are indeed missing a point. 

The point of connection. 

Axed and forgotten

In the gardens of life

Thrown and fettered 

In extermination to thrive

Torn in sync

With a ludicrous love

Proving to themselves

Their powerful nerve 

And as billet-doux of death

thrown on humanity

Plucked like leaves

From the branches of insanity.